i'm still breathing, but we've been dead for a while

hello!
i'm not sure how to start blogs, it's always sort of an awkward start you know?
sometimes you think of a decent way to start, then after a while you realise it's not that awesome after all... this happens with a lot of things to be honest.

i've just been looking through some photographs i took a few days ago in my back garden, and thinking about how in a few days time i'll probably look at them again and think they're pretty darn rubbish. for now though, for now i think they're okay.i like the contrast of the colours, the red and the green together.
maybe in a day or two, the colour scheme won't matter to me anymore, like so many other things i'll be bored of it and want to erase it from my life. you're probably thinking, what are you talking about, it's a photograph... but perhaps i'm using it as a metaphor, in fact, i am.

everything i've ever wanted/loved/adored or even felt proud of in my life has been tarnished by something and i've no longer felt that way. whether it's a person, an object or something i've achieved. that person drifts away, they do something that scars you pretty much forever, most people don't forget situations like that. an object, it might have been ruined, or perhaps gotten old and discarded. or an achievement, maybe that gets overshadowed when someone does it better, or achieves more than you. then it means nothing.

i don't even know what i'm talking about sometimes, but that feels incredibly true, everything i wrote. it's true and i do feel that way, like things are changing so fast around me, it's strange how fast time goes you know...

today is a year since i met four of my idols, since i met my best friend, and other people that would make things that have happened since that have effected my life greatly, happen. i'll forever be greatful for that day, especially considering it would never have happened without the genorosity of some people, i didn't win a ticket. i got in on someone's spare. i still had the most amazing time.

in the strangest way, i'm happy right now, but also deep down i'm kind of sad... all i've got is music. i don't hang out much with people from my town, i only like about 6/7 people from my town, the rest of my friends are from gigs. that's kind of sad, but not in the same breath... confusing.

anyway, tomorrow i am going out with some family, getting up at six am, it's now 12:38am and i haven't sorted anything out, disastrous!
i shall be taking monroe with me, monroe is my camera, & taking hundreds of photographs.

i must leave you now, i shall blog again either when i get back, or on monday. next wednesday will be full of awesome-ness, i shall have my gabanti with me, and we'll have seen katy perry!

good night!
~ rose. xo