today is shit, yesterday was shit. i feel like my life is wasting away before my fucking eyes. it sucks. the only things i can do right now without wanting to kill someone is listen to music and draw shitty pictures. i've got nothing to look forward to. i'm selling my gig tickets. the money is needed elsewhere. i thought i'd see one of my best friends and my favourite band this year, but i'm not gonna. i haven't told her yet, maybe i can find a way to go in the end. i don't know.
i've got nothing to look forward to, nothing to keep me going to the end of the year. oh, apart from visiting charlie, that'll be a breath of fresh air, to have fun yah know. we're gonna dress up, take photos. then i'm going to see la roux again, taking jodie. that'll be okay. but other than that, nothing. and i know i'm ungreatful cause some people have less. but i feel like it's my turn to be happy you know, i was just starting to feel happy again and it's been pulled from under me again. it's bullshit, i've had my turn. i don't want to do it again.
fuck why am i even writing this. i don't even know.
"a twisted up frown
disguised as a smile, well
you would’ve never known"
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